Inch by inch, the world is waking up to the idea that people with disabilities are sexual beings. But the obvious question remains: How does someone who requires help performing tasks such as showering or getting in and out of bed manage masturbation or sex?

Logically, you’d think in the same way they get help accomplishing the rest of life’s essential tasks. No?

Attendants assist people with disabilities in any number of ways: cooking, cleaning, helping with toileting, dressing, transportation, you name it.

But should they help position someone for sex? Or assist in putting on a condom? Or acquire a sex toy? In late August, the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities treaty was finalized. There is one mention of sexuality in the treaty: It states that those with disabilities shall be provided with “the same range, quality and standard of free or affordable health care and programmes as provided other persons, including in the area of sexual and reproductive health.”

“People with disabilities, in terms of their sexual rights, are at the very bottom. For sex to be mentioned in a UN document, that is something to be celebrated,” says Cory Silverberg, a sex educator who co-wrote The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability. “It’s a success to build on.”

The UN treaty is not quite as pointed as stating that people with disabilities have the right to experience sexuality — a provision that was apparently included in an earlier draft but is conspicuously absent from the final — but it’s a start.

Many organizations that provide attendant care don’t have any policies in place around attendant sexual facilitation. But it’s understood that when it happens (and it apparently happens often), it’s usually happening below the radar, kept private between client and attendant.

One debate is whether more policies around sexual facilitation should be introduced. Jake Pyne is a former attendant and sexual health educator of people with disabilities. “Very few people think it should be mandatory,” he says. “There are very few people with disabilities who would want someone begrudgingly helping them with sex.”

Loree Erickson is a PhD student at York University doing work in sex and disability. Due to a condition that has left her muscles weak, she uses a wheelchair and requires attendant care. She also has some attendants — a team of friends and volunteers — who facilitate some of her sexual activity: such as changing the batteries in her vibrator, helping her put on a sexy outfit or facilitating the inclusion of a partner.

“In my life, the folks that I have doing my care are fairly sex-positive people, so it’s a lot easier to talk about sex,” she says.

But she’s likely the exception rather than the rule — for the moment, at least. Toby Harris is the executive director of the Participation House in Waterloo/Wellington, which provides care for people with physical disabilities and acquired brain injuries, and she’s taking steps to put sexual facilitation by attendants out into the open.

A few years ago, after consultation with staff and clients, she introduced a policy surrounding sexual facilitation by attendants — one of the very few policies of this nature that exists in Canada.

The services are not mandatory for attendants, but there has been no problem finding attendants who are comfortable and willing to provide any requested services.

“The policies are in the manual, and they’ve been out there for a couple of years,” says Harris. “In terms of the actual service provision, we stay out of that.”

Harris says she has not heard any complaints since the policies were put in place. Included in the Participation House policy are points on providing sexuality training, assistance in masturbation, access to legal sexually explicit materials, intimacy aids and assistance in partner inclusion.

Some say that putting sexual facilitation into an official context can make things safer for all involved parties. Fran Odette is also a co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability and is a program manager at a violence prevention program for women with disabilities and deaf women.

“Fear is, I think, what really stops agencies from having an honest conversation with attendants. I think lots of agencies fear because of issues around liability. It’s a huge concern,” says Odette. “But, you can have really good, solid policies and training for consumers so that everyone’s on the same page.”

But not everyone thinks that policies are an easy answer. “It’s a tricky thing,” says Erickson, “because policies need to be very open. Everybody’s life is so unique, their needs are unique and their desires are so unique. And you can’t put a policy on that. Having people talk about it, that’s what’s important.”

What also might be important is a bit of an attitude adjustment when it comes to sex in general.

“We need to challenge people’s conceptions of what is sexy,” says Erickson. “That would not only help people with disabilities, but all people.”

Sep. 29, 2006. 07:00 AM
MEGAN MCCHESNEY

Μεταφράζεται από Γεωργία Φύκα